liFe..

Monday, October 16, 2006

well now..school is about to end for the people in JC's..particularly after their promos..while we in poly still struggle and slave on all the way till january..hmph~*
however..no matter what..we still have it way easier then the people in jc..may it be the hours we spend in school..the workload or the stress we get from our peers..they have it much worse then us..and here i am complaining about why they get their holidays and we still have to study..but well..rarely get chances whereby friends in jc are free..and when that occurs..we have school..just great~
however for those people in jc who did not do as well..or have not met up to the standard..do not feel so discouraged..or look down on yourselves..basically..you have tried your best..and done what you could..now is not the time to look back and regret..rather..think forward about what you are going to do..and maybe even be glad for this lesson..if you have not tried hard enough..this is a wake up call for you to start workin hard..no point crying over spilt milk..this may even be a blessing in disguise..because if u were allowed to breeze through this exam..perhaps you might take it easy and in the end not do well in A-levels. *touch wood*
but really..for those who really cannot take the pressure..i urge you to switch to poly..because even given 1 more year..you might be able to pass..but thats because of two years of studying..if it comes to A-levels..and if you do not do well..you will have wasted alot of time..so please think carefully about this and make a wise decision..

And when we come we always come too late
I often think that we were born to hate
Get up and see the sarcasm in my eyes

well good luck to you dudes and for your upcoming pw presentation..life is not always about studies and stuff..take time to relax and enjoy..you got one life..so might as well live it well..

9:25 PM...i walked away

6 Monday, October 09, 2006

hais~* starting to lose the motivation to go to school and to study..my body is in the lecture hall but my mind is wandering somewhere else..words come in from one ear and go out the next..beginning not to really care what the lecturers are talking about..going to school is starting to be a chore and a burden..not something i want to do everyday..going to class late..not paying attention..slacking around at home not doing any work or revising..my everyday life~
just cant seem to be able to focus in class..and very soon i gave up trying..studying is at the back of my mind..everytime i go home..it is not a place for me to study..cant really study at home..there is absolutely no motivation to study at home..especially when i am alone..temptation..procastination..it all comes in..guess i need people to study together with for me to be able to concentrate..but..now..the motivation is gone..dont really know why..slowly bit by bit..it slips away..the eagerness and willingness and anticipation at the beginning was seeping away..little by little..bit by bit..but surely..slipping away..
i know that even though studying is not my piece of cake..but i got to at least try..aim for the best that i can do..despite telling others to do that..i myself absolutely cannot keep to that..making me feel like a hyprocrite..a quitter..

Lines ever more unclear
I'm not sure
I'm even here
The more I look the more I think that I'm
Starting to disappear

motivation..is that what i am truly looking for..a will to study..i guess that is a main objective..really need something to keep me going on..

10:00 PM...i walked away

6 Monday, October 02, 2006

*sigh* school has started..new modules to take..new lecturers to meet..actually was looking foward to the start of school as i was really quite sick of rotting at home..but after a few days..i am having regrets T_T
the modules i am taking this semester are really a notch up from the last semester..much harder to understand..but that i can understand..as we progress..the harder things become~ but what i really cannot take are the new lecturers..they seriously suck~*
a monotonous lesson with nobody actually understanding what they are saying..and we are expected to understand what the lecturers are saying..and if we do not..they simply point out to us that we have the handouts given by them..expecting us to derive the answer from the handouts ourselves..with them explaining the lesson..i rather stay at home and look through the handouts by myself..i would probably learn more rather then attending lesson and stay throughout the whole lecture without understanding a single thing..
so far..the only modules i understand and like are Critical Reasoning Skills and IDEAS..but well..this is life and we cannot get what we want all the time..so we have to adapt~
trying desperately to adapt to the new modules and lecturers because i really desperately need to score better this semester..or i will be applicable to retain..and that is seriously not what i want..recently knew that i failed a module quite badly in the mid-year-exams..though it is a year-long module..but every mark counts..so currently rather stressed up over my studies..not really fun having all these worries in your head bugging you all the time..but i only got myself to blame..studying really is not my thing~*

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the world

so just hoping i have the motivation to keep studying throughout this semester..in the hope of having better grades at the end of the year..thus pulling up my 'fantastic' results last semester~

10:10 PM...i walked away